Dumb Ways to Die
Francisco, Fowl Marauder & Akiri, Line-Slinger Commander Deck
The deck uses Francisco, Fowl Marauder and Akiri, Line-Slinger as a Mardu artifact-voltron and combo shell, split evenly between two win routes. The primary route is Akiri commander damage: a wide artifact base (mana rocks, artifact lands, equipment like Cranial Plating, Bloodforged Battle-Axe, Trailblazer's Boots and Lost Jitte) pumps Akiri, with Kediss, Emberclaw Familiar spreading commander combat damage to every opponent. Artifacts are valued twice, as mana and as +1 power on Akiri, so artifact ramp is preferred over non-artifact lands and ramp. Francisco's explore triggers generate card advantage through combat. The escape valve is the persist combo line: Putrid Goblin with First Day of Class and a free sacrifice outlet (Viscera Seer, Carrion Feeder), or persist creatures exiled with Agatha's Soul Cauldron so any creature with a +1/+1 counter can loop, closing games alongside damage outlets like Walking Ballista, Juri, Master of the Revue or Reckless Fireweaver when the beatdown plan stalls or gets answered. Tutors, cheap card draw, and counterspell-adjacent interaction protect both plans. Watch life total, since painlands, Dark Confidant, tutors and Ad Nauseam all cost life and commander damage games can go long.
Decklist
- Agent of the Shadow Thieves
- Ornithopter of Paradise
- Fellwar Stone
- Talisman of Hierarchy
- Walking Ballista
- Lesser Masticore
- Putrid Goblin
- Necrosynthesis
- Dark Confidant
- Reckless Fireweaver
- Carrion Feeder
- Arcane Signet
- Bloodforged Battle-Axe
- Cranial Plating
- Vesuva
- Talisman of Conviction
- Ancient Den
- Agatha's Soul Cauldron
- Sulfurous Springs
- Command Tower
- Hangarback Walker
- Faithless Looting
- Vampire Hexmage
- Buried Ruin
- 2× Swamp
- 2× Plains
- Nesting Grounds
- Vault of Whispers
- Rustvale Bridge
- Springleaf Drum
- Dark Depths
- Sol Ring
- Caves of Koilos
- Lost Jitte
- Drossforge Bridge
- Prismatic Vista
- Animal Sanctuary
- Karn's Bastion
- Tainted Peak
- 2× Mountain
- Opal Palace
- Requisition Raid
- Phyrexian Tower
- Scroll Rack
- Juri, Master of the Revue
- Callous Sell-Sword // Burn Together
- Skullclamp
- Great Furnace
- Metallic Mimic
- Mother of Runes
- Imp's Mischief
- Sensei's Divining Top
- Thran Vigil
- Withering Boon
- Smoldering Marsh
- Cathartic Reunion
- Blackcleave Cliffs
- Blazemire Verge
- Mana Tithe
- Cauldron Haze
- Swords to Plowshares
- Kediss, Emberclaw Familiar
- Dragonskull Summit
- Reprieve
- Wishclaw Talisman
- Grand Abolisher
- Exotic Orchard
- Unearth
- Sheltered by Ghosts
- Null Elemental Blast
- Viscera Seer
- Spire of Industry
- Bartolomé del Presidio
- First Day of Class
- Fling
- Battlefield Forge
- Urza's Saga
- Recommission
- Trailblazer's Boots
- Demonic Consultation
- Dark Ritual
- Tibalt's Trickery
- Chef's Kiss
- Momo's Heist
- Urborg, Tomb of Yawgmoth
- Guild Artisan
- Noble Heritage
- Spider-Punk
- Godless Shrine
- Mana Confluence
- War Room
- Dark Petition
- Kayla's Reconstruction
- Ad Nauseam